So, it is 2013. A new year, a new lease on life. I am so not the kind of person to make New Year's resolutions. Try as I may, I find something to focus on and it never comes to fruition. This time around, I decided I wanted to change all that. I'm going to make a couple of resolutions and try to stick to them. I figure if I don't tell anyone about them, then there may actually be a chance of them happening. (Even though I am about to blurt them out here on this blog. But really... who's listening?!)
Being 33 weeks pregnant with seven weeks to go, (I'd be thrilled with less) I've arrived at that point in this journey that is just plain uncomfortable. I am one of those people that jumps on the scale once a week to see how I am doing with the expected weight gain. If I like what I see, I inevitably sabotage myself by indulging in something that I shouldn't. Well, because I am nine months pregnant. Obviously.
Let's talk about the fact that I jumped on the scale two days ago and I am five pounds away from the weight I was the actual day that I delivered Rose. So basically, I have gained a whopping thirty five pounds with seven weeks left to plunk on more. They say that you should gain anywhere from 25 to 35 pounds during the duration of your pregnancy. So, I'm at the heavy end of that spectrum. Sure, I did have about ten pounds left to lose from my last pregnancy -that I just couldn't manage to drop. So, technically I have only gained twenty five "new" pounds.
Truth be told, I am starting to obsess a little over it. I know how vain that sounds. My Husband looks at me and just shakes his head and tells me I am crazy. Tells me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am... Blah, blah, blah. People always compliment me on how great I look and that I am glowing... etc. It is so hard to take a compliment when you have stood naked in front of a mirror and can see how much your body has changed. If I am totally honest, this is the worst I have ever felt about myself. I am trying so hard to just enjoy the time and be grateful for the experience. But my maternity clothes are getting too small for me. I have a hard time sitting comfortably if I don't stuff a pillow between my legs to keep my thighs from touching. And when I walk? My thighs rub together so badly, I could start a small campfire with the friction I generate there.
It's bad.
Every time I see a Weight Watchers commercial, I find myself counting on my hand how many weeks I have left until I can walk into a meeting. It is strange to say, but I am so looking forward to the challenge of losing the weight. There is nothing better than a good weight loss for your self esteem. It's amazing how your confidence can soar when you know how hard you have worked to do something, and it's right there in front of you. Do I have to mention that my Dad is getting married six weeks after I am due to have this baby? Yeah. I'm petrified about squeezing myself into a bridesmaid dress. Although, at that point I will be able to use alcohol as anesthesia. So, it may not be so bad...
So, I decided that for the rest of my pregnancy I am going to do the best I can to avoid things that I shouldn't be eating. This started with an intervention of ridding my kitchen of all of the Christmas sweets and desserts. (I have a severe sweet tooth with this pregnancy.) It started with getting rid of the homemade Holiday Fudge, Chocolate Peanut Butter bars and Peanut Butter Reindeer Cookies with chocolate pretzel antlers. Then I dug in and threw out all of the Ghiardelli Peppermint Bark, Hershey Kisses and the leftover M&M's. Once that was finished, I felt better.
Sure enough, that evening as we were relaxing in front of the tube, I found myself searching high and low for sweets. I came out into the living room like a raving lunatic and yelled at my Hubby, "Did you throw away the last two pieces of the Chocolate Mousse pie?!" To which he confirmed. I began to pace and rummage through the cabinets like a grizzly bear in a honey pot factory. After destroying the entire pantry, I found a lone box of homemade brownies. It was like a vision from heaven. Before I knew it, I was on the couch with two brownies and a giant glass of milk.
So... my first resolution is to cut down on the sweets and eat healthier. There really isn't anything left in the house for me to break that promise with. (Trust me, I've looked.) I think I can handle that.
I'm only revealing one resolution today. Seriously... isn't one enough for now?! We will see how this goes. Pity party over for now.
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