Snowed In

These are my favorite kind of days.  There is a blizzard happening all around us.  We are cuddled up on the couch with blankets and books.  Rosie is keeping herself busy making us "Foffee" in her little kitchen, in between pressing her little nose against the window and asking us if "Santa Claus is coming?"  I have homemade chicken soup simmering in the crock pot.  It's really just the best day.

When I was pregnant with Rose, I used to fantasize about having her home with us in a blizzard, all bundled up.  To me, there is something so soothing to me about being stuck inside with blustering, snowy weather outside.  I really am a true New England girl.  I love the fall and winter as much as I love the warm summer months.  It always baffles me to hear of people complain about the snow.  I think it is one of the best things about living in the northeast.  I've always loved this weather ever since I was a little girl.  And I'm really happy that Rose loves the snow as much as I do!  (Not that I haven't forced it upon her, because I totally have.  She really has no choice in the matter.)

Tomorrow, the plan is to make our first family snowman and teach Rose how to make snow angels.  I can't wait!  The three of us have been trying to make the most of our time together until the new baby comes into our lives.  Every day this week, I've found myself stopping what I am doing to just enjoy the little things with her.  When she comes into the kitchen and pulls on my leg to ask me to do something with her, "Come'ere, Mommy!"  I can't help but stop and just go with the flow.

While I know in my heart that the change of bringing a new little person into this family is going to be an incredible and wonderful experience, I can't help but feel a bit like I am losing something too.  For the past two years, Rose has been the exclusive light in my life.  We've spent every day together laughing, talking, learning and getting to know one another.  She is the first love of mine.  My heart is being pulled in so many different directions.  But mostly, I'm starting to feel excited about it all.

I've always been this way.  I get my heart set on something and then right before it happens... I panic.  It is everything I have always wanted, to see our family grow and thrive.  And suddenly, I am feeling so apprehensive about the way this will change our household.  How will Rosie adjust to this?  How will I handle this when Brian goes to work that first day and leaves me with my hands completely full?  And how I am going to balance myself between three people that I love so much, my husband and my two children?

Something tells me I'm going to look back at all of this and laugh.  I had many of the same fears before Rose came and as soon as she came, it was like she was here all along.  I truly don't remember what I did with myself before she was here with us.  Our lives just revolve around her and the happiness and laughter that she brings.  We are about to double that love by bringing another little being into our circle.  I can't wait to see who this little personality will be.

We are officially twelve days before my guess date.  Yesterday was my 38 week appointment.  I wasn't dilated at all but my doctor told me that my cervix is very thin.  Her exact words were, "Don't be surprised if it happens this weekend."  I've been having strong surges and pressure all day today.  Nothing too unbearable, but enough to let me know that this in fact happening soon.  Bags are packed, the bassinet has fresh sheets and blankets and the teeny tiny outfits have been washed and folded.  It's almost time to take another turn in our family adventure.  And I'm starting to really love the idea.